The Truth

I have been struck by the overwhelming urge to find the truth of who I am. The truth, as in my true purpose, who I truly want to be, my true nature and how to live the truest version of me. I feel like I have been out of sync with my body, out of tune with my mind, out of step with my emotions. I have numbed who I am by turning to outside distractions and believing that I could find myself in the voices of others or at least enjoy the pretty pictures and videos on my screens. But that is not where I will find my truth. I understand now that it is in the quiet spaces, the pondering of ideas and emotions where I will find who I am and who I am meant to be.

The truth of me needs to be written out onto paper (I guess digital paper also counts). It needs to be manifested into the real world and turned into a body of prose, concrete and vulnerable and real. The truth is not something that can be uncovered easily. At least, it will not come easily in my case. It is something that will need to be worked at every single day. Practiced over and over again. It needs to be felt in my mind, body and spirit. It is not just one aspect of my life. It is all encompassing and affects everything.

My truth will partly be about finding my balance. Finding my vitality in how I create, how I relate to other people and how I find meaning in the work I do. I know my truth will lead me to great things. Great, as in my definition of great, not how other people define it. Searching for what it is, listening to what God is trying to tell me, I know that I will find my purpose.